The Crazy Within

Working in a library may seem stodgy and boring, and at times it can be. However, at times it can be anything but. Odd patrons and situations afford a certain humor and eccentricity to the job, which keep it from being dull, to say the least. Some incidents are disgusting, some are funny, but all illustrate what I like to call the crazy within.

Here are just a few of situations I’ve encountered in my short career.

Snakes in the Library: Last week, one of my student employees told me there was a man with a snake. I had her clarify that she indeed meant there was a man in the library with a snake (a python, no less) around his neck. Channeling Britney Spears circa 2001, he walked around the building proudly displaying his living boa. Fortunately, he did not stay long and departed the building before the police could arrive.

The Dog Whisperer…or Not: I am in charge of billing patrons for damages to library materials. About a year ago, a girl borrowed The Dog Whisperer season one and a Cesar Millan dog training book. Both items were returned having been chewed by the girl’s puppy. I had a wee bit of a giggle over that one.

The Odd Duck: We have several regular patrons who are, for lack of a better word, odd. One in particular seems to feed off of attention, both positive and negative. One day, this fellow arrived at the library in short, (SHORT!), spandex shorts and a fedora, with an unlit cigar hanging out of his mouth. He proceeded to waltz through the lobby, then through his Interlibrary Loan transaction before waltzing back out of the building. I guess some days just call for cigars and dancing.

The Bodily Fluid Conundrum: I recently billed a patron for “bodily fluid” damage to several library books. Bodily fluid is a category that encompasses many substances, but in the case referred to the obvious animal urine that was both on and wafting from his books. When the patron came to the library to contest his bill, he informed me that the books were minimally damaged and most definitely NOT with “bodily fluids” of any kind. He told me he could clean them on the spot and then proceeded to spit on one of the books. A little elbow (or finger) grease, and bada bing! The book was clean! I don’t think he realized the irony of what he was doing, but in any case we billed him for bodily fluid damage.

Sexploitations: I couldn’t just pick one.

The Bathroom Trist: A student employee found a couple having sex in the men’s bathroom on the fourth floor. Do I need to point out that public bathrooms are disgusting?

Playboy Misadventures: A damaged book was found in the stacks and given to me. It was a 50th Anniversary Playboy picture book and (drum roll please) several of the pages were stuck together. With what, you might ask? I shall leave it to your imagination. The truly disturbing aspect of this incident was that the book had never been checked out, so it had been “used” in the library.

Too Much To Do

It’s been one of those busy crazy semesters. You know the type. It starts out crazy way back in January and at the end of week one you say it will be less busy next week, but it just seems to keep going without leveling out. Then eventually it gets to the point where you decide you must quit something to make room for everything else, but even though you do drop one project or work task another one or three pop up.

                I’ve gotten to that place at work and at home. At work we decided, for many reasons, we would not going to be able to participate in Library week so that we can perform better in all the other activities going on in the next couple weeks - like World Book Night, poetry month, Book Madness, helping with paper competitions (in my boss’ case), Script Frenzy… It’s crazy but I do enjoy the hub bub.

                On the home front, I’ve been trying to decide whether or not I should drop Script Frenzy and just work on my story that I’ve been trying to finish for ages. On the one hand, Script Frenzy is an event I’m spearheading at work, and I feel like I should participate so that our other participants don’t feel abandoned. On the other hand, I’ve put my faery story aside so many times for other projects like grad school and Nanowrimo that I feel like I am just making it worse by pushing it aside again. So I think it has come to the point where I really do need to finish something.

                My boss suggested we become Script Frenzy rebels and work on whatever we want. I think the only thing we need to do now is decide how we will count our progress. Pages, words? I’ve been thinking about starting a new program for the summer along these lines. Perhaps Rough Draft Mania.

And now for some inspirations from one of my favorites: Neil Gaiman on writing.

What I Do that Keeps Me from Writing…and Doing Things Like Script Frenzy

I have always considered myself to be more of a bibliophile than a telephile, but the truth is I watch A LOT of TV. I love a good television program for the same reason I love a good written series; the characters are my friends. I find comfort in returning to them, seeing their quirks, their highs, even experiencing their lows. That said, I am economical with my love. If a show is wasting my time, I cut ties with it. That said, I try not to part ways unnecessarily.

I have found that the success or failure of many a relationship depends on timing; relationships with books , movies or TV shows are no different. Case and point - Downton Abbey. I fell instantly in love with Downton. I watched season 1 in two days and was thrilled to discover season 2 was already released on Blue-Ray/DVD. I immediately dove in to the second season.

Now, if you are not familiar with this BBC masterpiece, what you need to know is that two seasons, (fifteen episodes, plus a Christmas special) covers EIGHT years of Edwardian era history. I didn’t realize this going in and struggled with the swift passing of time as I watched season 2. I found myself left behind by the inhabitants of Downton on more than one occasion; their motives and decisions thusly baffled me. And…I took my frustration out on one character in particular. Lord Robert Crawley, the Earl of Grantham.

The Earl, after playing the part of a reasonably forward-thinking, morally-upstanding nobleman in the first season, SUDDENLY departed from these ways and began doing some questionable things in the second. In but a few short episodes he became an unrecognizable and unlikable fool. I found it hard to muster any amount of sympathy for him. I shook my fist in rage and seriously considered whether I wanted to watch the forthcoming third season of Downton Abbey.

Then I realized. His transformation wasn’t really sudden. It was the culmination of YEARS of harassment and oppression (as he perceived it). It was only from the comfort of my couch in the midst of a Downton marathon that he seemed to devolve shamefully rapidly. (Eight years is truly meaningless when it boils down to a bag of popcorn and a quiet afternoon at home). Perhaps if I had watched the season as it aired on television I would have better felt the passing of time. Who knows?

So, what has all this to do with me not being a writer?

When I find myself berating another person's characters, I often wonder why I don’t write my story. – THE story that is always circling around in my brain. I’ve created the world; I’ve created the characters. I can make them do whatever I want, evolve or devolve as I choose. So why don’t I do it? I don’t know the answer. Until my good friend and co-contributor, Abby, invited me to do NaNoWriMo, I was perfectly content to sit on my couch happily judging other people’s creations while letting mine float about in grey matter unfulfilled. Perhaps it’s time to trade in the fist-shaking (especially at truly excellent shows like Downton Abbey) for pen and paper.

Script Frenzy

This weekend marks the beginning of Script Frenzy and a very hectic month. I’ve never done Script Frenzy before and never really thought of trying it until a drama instructor and my brother-in-law showed an interest after I finished the Nanowrimo program at my library. If you’ve never heard of Nanowrimo I’ll tell you this much for sure; it can be intense. 50,000 words in one month. I don’t know how some people can manage to pull it off. Amongst work, family, exercise, cooking, cleaning, puppies and a sometimes critical writing mind it can be an incredible challenge. I’ve attempted it the last two years and made it to about 19,000-21,000 words before throwing my arms up in the air and deciding to sit back and watch others work continuously through the rest of the month. Why did I try it again? It’s a challenge and I’m a sucker for challenges especially if there is some friendly competition involved.

Script Frenzy will be a whole new challenge. Aside from attempting to get students, faculty and staff interested in it at the end of the semester when all is chaos and spring-starved insanity, this type of story writing is completely foreign to me and will add a whole new adventure of its own. I’ve never written a script before and now I am charged with writing 100 pages by the end of the month. One cool rule for the frenzy is that you can participate with a partner for the same end total of pages. Now I say, “Phaw! That’s cheating! Where’s the fun in that?”

Just kidding. For this month I’ll be attempting the 100 pages in the form of a graphic novel with very little planning and research and maybe quite a bit of drinking. I know what you might be saying. “You’re a librarian. That’s just crazy.”

And…you’re right. Cheers!
-A