The Crazy Within

Working in a library may seem stodgy and boring, and at times it can be. However, at times it can be anything but. Odd patrons and situations afford a certain humor and eccentricity to the job, which keep it from being dull, to say the least. Some incidents are disgusting, some are funny, but all illustrate what I like to call the crazy within.

Here are just a few of situations I’ve encountered in my short career.

Snakes in the Library: Last week, one of my student employees told me there was a man with a snake. I had her clarify that she indeed meant there was a man in the library with a snake (a python, no less) around his neck. Channeling Britney Spears circa 2001, he walked around the building proudly displaying his living boa. Fortunately, he did not stay long and departed the building before the police could arrive.

The Dog Whisperer…or Not: I am in charge of billing patrons for damages to library materials. About a year ago, a girl borrowed The Dog Whisperer season one and a Cesar Millan dog training book. Both items were returned having been chewed by the girl’s puppy. I had a wee bit of a giggle over that one.

The Odd Duck: We have several regular patrons who are, for lack of a better word, odd. One in particular seems to feed off of attention, both positive and negative. One day, this fellow arrived at the library in short, (SHORT!), spandex shorts and a fedora, with an unlit cigar hanging out of his mouth. He proceeded to waltz through the lobby, then through his Interlibrary Loan transaction before waltzing back out of the building. I guess some days just call for cigars and dancing.

The Bodily Fluid Conundrum: I recently billed a patron for “bodily fluid” damage to several library books. Bodily fluid is a category that encompasses many substances, but in the case referred to the obvious animal urine that was both on and wafting from his books. When the patron came to the library to contest his bill, he informed me that the books were minimally damaged and most definitely NOT with “bodily fluids” of any kind. He told me he could clean them on the spot and then proceeded to spit on one of the books. A little elbow (or finger) grease, and bada bing! The book was clean! I don’t think he realized the irony of what he was doing, but in any case we billed him for bodily fluid damage.

Sexploitations: I couldn’t just pick one.

The Bathroom Trist: A student employee found a couple having sex in the men’s bathroom on the fourth floor. Do I need to point out that public bathrooms are disgusting?

Playboy Misadventures: A damaged book was found in the stacks and given to me. It was a 50th Anniversary Playboy picture book and (drum roll please) several of the pages were stuck together. With what, you might ask? I shall leave it to your imagination. The truly disturbing aspect of this incident was that the book had never been checked out, so it had been “used” in the library.

Too Much To Do

It’s been one of those busy crazy semesters. You know the type. It starts out crazy way back in January and at the end of week one you say it will be less busy next week, but it just seems to keep going without leveling out. Then eventually it gets to the point where you decide you must quit something to make room for everything else, but even though you do drop one project or work task another one or three pop up.

                I’ve gotten to that place at work and at home. At work we decided, for many reasons, we would not going to be able to participate in Library week so that we can perform better in all the other activities going on in the next couple weeks - like World Book Night, poetry month, Book Madness, helping with paper competitions (in my boss’ case), Script Frenzy… It’s crazy but I do enjoy the hub bub.

                On the home front, I’ve been trying to decide whether or not I should drop Script Frenzy and just work on my story that I’ve been trying to finish for ages. On the one hand, Script Frenzy is an event I’m spearheading at work, and I feel like I should participate so that our other participants don’t feel abandoned. On the other hand, I’ve put my faery story aside so many times for other projects like grad school and Nanowrimo that I feel like I am just making it worse by pushing it aside again. So I think it has come to the point where I really do need to finish something.

                My boss suggested we become Script Frenzy rebels and work on whatever we want. I think the only thing we need to do now is decide how we will count our progress. Pages, words? I’ve been thinking about starting a new program for the summer along these lines. Perhaps Rough Draft Mania.

And now for some inspirations from one of my favorites: Neil Gaiman on writing.